Cathy Remembers Day One

August 15, 2017,  Tuesday,  Day of Tom’s big Stroke

I was awakened by Tom at 6:30am when he mumbled nonsense then laughed at himself. When I shook him and told him to wake up, he repeated the unintelligible words. Alarmed, I turned on the lights, leaned over his face and saw he was fully awake. I asked him to say anything, grimace, smile, stick out his tongue then move it side to side, but he could not do any of them. I observed drooping on the left side of his face. He could move all limbs but not touch his finger to his nose. When I told him he had a stroke and I was going to call 911, he waved his arm, dismissing the idea. During my call to 911, Tom got up and stood by the bed. I told him to sit on the bed, then decided to dress him quickly and walked him to his recliner in the living room. I opened the front door, dressed myself, except for my shoes, then the firemen and paramedics came in. Despite his inability to talk, he smiled as if amused. His smile was becoming more drooped. He was able to walk to the ambulance and hoist himself up into it. I followed in my own car, alone and scared.

In the ER, he was determined to be seriously ill, so put in a private room with his own nurse and on Stroke protocols, which meant specially trained staff and priority for all tests ie CAT scan. Over the first hour, his symptoms became much worse; soon he couldn’t move or feel any part of his left side. His inability to communicate his needs began to scare him; he was trapped in his body. I tried so hard to play charades to determine what simple thing he wanted ie a kleenex. I began making phone calls to family. I told our daughters, my sister who was in Arizona, and my mother. Mom asked her neighbor to drive her over and spent the next hours with us, until our daughters  came and could drive her home to rest. Mom was a big help. I was able to leave the room to make calls to Tom’s brothers.

Tom was admitted to ICU and repeat tests were done. That day, besides me and my Mom, both our daughters, Vanessa and Lia, and our sons-in-laws, Jim and Kevin, came and were very helpful to me that week, actually, during all their Dad’s 3 hospitalized months. But when they arrived on that first day, I was in desperate need of my medication and real rest. I cried all the way home, but I felt better when I returned so was better able to support and comfort Tom and provide basic nursing care like positioning to try to prevent contractures. Tom’s brother, Pat, flew in from Arizona and stayed a couple nights at my mother’s house. He too, was a big help. Tom’s oldest brother, Hank, and wife, Sally, also came. Their other brother, Bob, was in Germany, involved in his wife’s family’s medical crisis.  Every time any of them first came, Tom cried. We all became involved with his care and began to learn more and more about strokes. Little 2year old Greyson, our grandson, seemed unfazed by his Papa’s changes, bringing joy to his bedside. Those are my memories (at least right now while writing this) of that day of Tom’s massive CVA (cerebral, vascular accident: Stroke).